What? Is something going on Monday?

Print Article

Eclipse, schmeclipse.

Sorry, science buffs and lovers of all things in nature. (We’ll get to the latter in a minute.) All this fuss about the moon posting up the sun like any decent basketball player should seems just a bit overblown. Now, the Cubs winning the World Series last year? That was historic and euphoric. Plus, it led to some rounds for the house. Think anybody’s going to buy you a drink Monday to toast a successful solar eclipse?

No, tomorrow morning, a whole bunch of people are going to burn holes in their eyeballs because a.) they’re stupid or b.) they’re not stupid but they were dumb enough to purchase fake glasses for the occasion. And if they didn’t stumble across a warning on their Facebook feed, they’re oblivious to the dangers that have been posted everywhere else between heaven and hell the past few weeks. Tomorrow will be memorable for them, but not for the right reasons.

About those lovers of nature.

Law enforcement officials are braced for the bazillion sky gazers who are already cramming into every square inch of a swath of Idaho for the best view of the eclipse on the planet. But not all those eyes will be cast upward.

According to a very reliable source named Sheriff Ben Wolfinger, a large group of, shall we say, rainbow and flower children are also going to be there with their attention firmly focused closer to the Earth’s surface. While the moon passes between Earth and sun, their goal is to conceive offspring, supposedly making the eventual unique tykes somehow more unique. (Fellow smart-alecks, insert your telescope joke here.)

For those of you to whom this rare astronomical event is a highlight not to be missed for any reason, please, be safe out there. If you’re driving, we’d rather you text and talk than peer at the disappearing sphere. After all, it’s not easy to brag about witnessing the Great American Eclipse if you’re dead.

For the rest of us, there will be plenty of pictures on the internet, and they won’t make you blind.

Of course, they won’t buy you a drink, either.

Print Article

Read More Editorial

Transparency takes a kick to the groin

January 19, 2018 at 5:00 am | Coeur d'Alene Press Thanks, Vito, for keeping the lights off. Heather, bravo! What with the short days and scarce visits by ol’ Sol, Idahoans’ eyes would’ve been jeopardized by suddenly flipping the brights on elected ...

Comments

Read More

A breath of fresh North Idaho air

January 17, 2018 at 5:00 am | Coeur d'Alene Press For a mental health tuneup, sometimes you just have to turn away from the political conflagration that’s consuming our nation. All that ails the world? Acknowledge them. Then move on. You could do ...

Comments

Read More

Put porch thieves out of business

January 12, 2018 at 5:00 am | Coeur d'Alene Press No, it was not “just” a blanket that was stolen from a Coeur d’Alene family last weekend. The thief or thieves stole a piece of a little girl’s heart. Among the items taken from the Clements family...

Comments

Read More

CEO proposal is music to Idaho’s ears

January 10, 2018 at 5:00 am | Coeur d'Alene Press In an Idaho Education News story published Nov. 29 on cdapress.com, a photo caption reads, “Gov. Butch Otter will unveil his 12th and final executive budget proposal on Jan. 8. It’s unclear whether t...

Comments

Read More

Contact Us

(208) 664-8176
215 N. Second St
Coeur d'Alene, Idaho 83814

©2018 The Coeur d'Alene Press Terms of Use Privacy Policy
X
X